Photo editing by Charles Garrett
"I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because the fact is that we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement......One of the most powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these, to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity." ~ Clarissa Estes
"Sometimes things change even when the most diligent and open-minded can sense only darkness. Make no mistake, these are dark times. And more likely than not, they will get darker still. But even here in this crucible there is light. Even here there is the potentiality, the opportunity, for real change." ~ Raj Sisodia
Happy New Year 2017!!! From celebrity deaths to endless war in the Middle East, we're all undoubtedly excited to put 2016 in the dumpster! Still, it's no stretch to say that the festivities were 'dampened' significantly for millions, due in great measure to the recent general election results.
Reality has hit the rinse cycle for most of us. It feels a bit like accidentally locking your keys in the car on a stormy night...times a hundred. Worse, each new day seems to bring with it a fresh torrent of outrage and despair.
Millions of us have been searching ourselves, desperately
seeking answers. In response to this, leftists of all stripes have risen from the ashes of November 8th to offer consolation and direction. Everyone from author and filmmaker
Michael Moore,
Paula Green, founder of the Karuna Center for Peacebuilding, and
Kali Akuno, organizer with Cooperation Jackson and the Malcolm X Grassroots Movement, to
committed anarchists and former
Congressional staffers have published something uplifting and constructive.
I highly recommend that everyone read them all, and
any others you can find. Take heart, take what you need, leave the rest behind. Contact the authors or organizations mentioned, if you desire, and make a difference when, where, and how you can. Leaders and members of these and other groups have been organizing and participating in movements of resistance for a long time. They have much to teach, so I'll let them do it.
Photo editing by Charles Garrett
That said, I've decided to offer my ten cents as well. My advice not only originates from my understanding of anthropology, culture, conflict resolution, politics, philosophy, and history, but comes from being born and raised in the cornfields, and coal country of southern Indiana, in a white, conservative Christian, blue-collar household and community. My father was a strict authoritarian, ex-Special Forces Army Officer, and a social-climbing, high-ranking Freemason. My young mother was fiercely religious with a strong Dominionist slant, and a violent disciplinarian.
My bona fides are unimportant frankly. I'm just a guy who gives a damn. The fact is that when it comes to Trump supporters: I come from these people, grew up with them, went to school, served in the military, went into business, married, divorced, and raised kids with them. It's clear that a lot of people are hurting on a lot of different levels. and I'm just as certain that I don't have all the answers. But, you'll unflinchingly get what I think might actually be useful if you keep reading; we'll talk straight. Who knows? Maybe I'll surprise you.
What to say to Trump voters
First things first, when engaging a rabid Trump voter in debate or conversation, give them their props immediately. Offer your congratulations for the election victory, because like it or not, they've earned it. Not only will it take them by surprise, but it will immediately derail their ability to call you a sore loser. Understand as well, that they really want and need desperately to hear it. Real or not, believe it or not, like most Americans, Trump voters needed a 'win' of any sort, just like we did. It's a small price to pay to avoid unnecessary conflict, helps them to understand that you're truly interested in healing their wounds (interested in more than your own concerns), and keeps the conversation on level ground.
Next, concerning any particular point of endless argument, let them know that your opposition to Trump was never opposition to them personally, just to their support of him, and of policies you feel are not in anyone's best interest; theirs included. Remind them that even if we prefer to dine on separate decks, we're all on the same "sinking ship," and your intentions were good. As North Carolina pastor
John Pavlovitz perfectly states it:
"The misconception about those of us who voted for Hillary, is that we did so in part out of hatred for Trump supporters, but quite the opposite is true. We care for them and their children too much to have willfully placed their lives in the hands of someone so incompetent and with such disregard for them. With our vote, we were advocating for them as well. The bigger table we were seeking was for everyone, including them—but now we’re all losing our seats and our voices."
In other words, you tell and remind them, that you love them! In simple summary: Offer your congratulations, remind them that you love them, tell them that you sincerely hope you are wrong, and that everything does turn out favorably. Then grin from ear to ear, announce that you still plan to continue to vehemently oppose their policies of course, and will definitely "get 'em next time!!" There's a better than even chance that they will respect that posture; I'll explain why later.** Diffuse any negativity, avoid wasting time now and in the future with pointless arguments, and move on to more productive pursuits.
It takes two to tango, and it's tough to go off on someone who is congratulating you and telling you that they love you and always have your back, even when you disagree. There's no guarentee that the technique will work every time. But, I think you'll find the results far preferable to, "You lost!! Get over it!!" Lest we also forget though, Obama said that first. Many Trump voters are now just asking for some of their due and proper...let them have it....had our side won...many of us would do or expect no less. Besides, it may be all they get.
Know your adversary
Regardless of your perspective or intentions, Trump has labeled you "enemies," and "losers," and signaled that clearly to his supporters. Just who exactly are Trump voters anyway?! We've thrown around a lot of labels over the last few years, and none of them seem to quite catch-all or fill the bill. Conservatives, conservative Christians, right-wingers, alt-right, Republicans, fundamentalists, evangelicals, and deplorables are some of the nicer ones on the list, and of course, the elusive "white working class."
It's been my observation, that the more one knows, acknowledges, and understands the motivations and needs of their opponent, the quicker that mutually beneficial conflict resolution may be reached. On another tack, depending on your ultimate goal, the more likely it is that you will eventually defeat them or "win the war." Additionally, when you understand these variables, their inherently dissonant, often outright cruel behavior becomes less frustrating and more predictable...therefore easier to thwart, defeat, or defuse.
Psychologist
Dr. Robert Altemeyer proposes two separate personality types, which I feel accurately describe the great bulk of Trump Voters:
Right-Wing Authoritarians (RWA) and Social Dominance Orientation (SDO). Do yourself a huge favor and
read the article. We have to stop "expecting" them to make sense, and simply understand who they are. Most Trump voters, with varying degrees of overlap, fit neatly into these two categories:
RWA: “By now we know quite a bit about them… high RWAs have been proven to be relatively submissive to government injustices, unsupportive of civil liberties and the Bill of Rights, supportive of the Experimenter in the Milgram situation, high shockers themselves in a ‘punish the learner’ situation, punitive towards law-breakers, mean-spirited, ready to join government “posses” to run down almost everyone (including themselves), happy with traditional sex roles, strongly influenced by group norms, highly religious (especially in a fundamentalist way), and politically conservative (from the grass roots up to the pros, say studies of over 1,500 elected lawmakers)...They also have remarkably compartmentalized minds, endorse a multitude of contradictory beliefs, apply a variety of double standards to their thinking on social matters, are blind to themselves, dogmatic, fearful of a dangerous world, and self-righteous to beat the band...Right-wing Authoritarians are also relatively prejudiced, against just about any racial, ethnic or nationalistic minority you can think of, and against homosexuals, women… atheists, and other religious people who happen to belong to different faiths. [They are the] enemies of freedom and equality [who] can give the flimsiest of excuses and even outright lies about things they’ve done wrong [and are]almost totally uninfluenced by reasoning and evidence.”
SDO..."involves a more ruthless, gratuitous dog-eat-dog pursuit of hierarchy and inequality than RWA. In an ideal SDO world, the ‘strong’ in society oppress the ‘weak’ by whatever means they can, whether consistent with tradition and authority or not. Whereas RWA is known to be driven primarily by fear of change and difference, with an anxiously aggressive quest for certainty, simplicity and the familiar, SDO has a different personality profile. It is predicted not by the fearful, rigid, closed-minded personality of the authoritarian, but by antagonistic personality traits, including the ‘dark triad’ of personality; psychopathy, narcissism and Machiavellian-ism. These personality correlates share with SDO a “dark core” of callousness or lack of empathy, and dishonesty. Being cruel and ruthless simply feels satisfying to the socially dominating psyche, particularly when the target is weakened or vulnerable.(** This is why they respect an opponent who remains strong even in defeat) Lying comes naturally. There is no conscience to appease. Although different from one another, SDO and RWA both correlate with conservatism or right leaning political orientation, and together explain almost all of the variance in prejudice. They are understood as two distinct pathways to conservatism and prejudice....Not only does bombing feel good to a social dominator, charity, mercy, kindness, humanity, generosity, altruism and compassion feel bad. They feel weak. Feeding people is just soft...High social dominance orientation is not a logical philosophical ideological stance. It is a psychopathology."
I'm soberly aware of how much I loathe to admit just how seriously worried I am that the absolute worst will occur: America actually could fall into full-blown dictatorial fascism, or Trump's twitter finger could facilitate a nuclear exchange. If you decide that the best thing to do in response to all of this is what your peers might consider "implementing a radical change," e.g. "leave the country," don't let them talk you out of it. It's your life, your safety, your conscience, and completely your choice.
Consider this: At age 57, in 1933, Albert Einstein immigrated to America to escape the rise of Hitler's Nazi Germany. Once safely out of the country, he contacted leaders of other nations, including Turkey's Prime Minister, İsmet İnönü, to whom he wrote in September 1933, requesting placement of unemployed German-Jewish scientists. As a result of Einstein's letter, Jewish invitees to Turkey eventually totaled over 1,000 saved individuals. History remembers Einstein for many things. Being stupid is not among them.
Trust your instincts. They've gotten you this far successfully. Remember this as well: You're not alone by a long shot. Over 75 million other souls emphatically voted against Trump. Our system may lawfully install him as President, but you are NOT in the minority, and there's absolutely no need to act or feel like it. After reading the personality profiles above, it should be evident that you're on the "right side." Draw strength from that understanding just like you always have. Remember who you are.
Educate yourself
One of the best things you can do for yourself, your country, and the world is to increase your knowledge. More education = happier life. It's 2017, and I know we love cat pictures, but you only live once, and you have the world's greatest library, research assistant, and teaching tool at your fingertips. Stop playing Angry Birds, unplug your television set, and start expanding your world. Become an even cooler person than you already are. Even old dogs CAN learn new tricks!!
If you can read, it's all there for you,
open courseware, sacred texts and ancient manuscripts,
classic literature,
philosophy, etc., etc., etc. There is no excuse for willful ignorance in the information age. Take a class at the local college, schedule a museum tour, watch YouTube tutorials, listen to podcasts on ANY subject, attend a lecture, and just get your hands on something brand new...the scarier the better, within reason. Find something to get interested in and excited about, and your confidence level will soar. Excitement and confidence are contagious; build community.
Get your sh*t together
First of all, even harder economic times are coming. I have zero doubt...much harder. Secondly it's time to completely quit pretending that life as usual, business as usual, in the good old USA is anything but a cancerous, consumer blight on the rest of the planet. From Super Bowl guacamole to disappearing orangutans, from the rain forest to your local water supply, if you really want to "Make America Great" it's time to actually put up or shut up. It's time to truly be "the change you wish to see." Here's a small list so you can begin to understand the types of things I'm talking about. Don't poo-poo this stuff, just because some of it seems obvious...just do it. Most of our lives could use a good Spring cleaning!! It's called smart, sustainable living, and it's fun and easy to begin. A baker's dozen examples, in no particular order:
- Reuse, re-purpose, repair, and recycle everything. If you can't figure out how, see "educate yourself" above. We have become a disposable society of illusory convenience. It must stop.
- Consolidate/pay off old debt, and avoid new debt completely. Debt is the trap of our existence.
- Turn stuff you don't need or use into cash via yard sale, Craigslist, E-bay, etc. It's time to dump the baggage...all of it. You'll be glad you did it, and have a nice nest egg started.
- Grow a garden in your backyard, or find a community garden.
- Bike, walk, use public transportation, or carpool instead of drive whenever you can.
- Help your neighbor: share, free-cycle, barter, trade, donate, volunteer, protest, speak-up, step-up, step-in, support, buy local, build community continually.
- Make your own everything if you can. Get creative: clothes. soap, candles, furniture, have fun.
- NEVER waste food or drink, not a bite or a drop. Adjust your cooking habits, eating habits, and shopping habits accordingly.
- Drop the daily Starbucks...or whatever is "nickel and dime-ing" you to death.
- Rediscover a clothesline.
- Increase your income streams to offset risk if possible.
- Buy wholesale, used, and/or in bulk. Shop around and online, never pay full retail price.
- Drop unnecessary expenses. You can live without Spotify Premium et al., I don't even have a cell phone.
That's enough to make my point. Stop thinking/talking about these types of things and start walking. Instill good habits now if you haven't already, and it will lessen the blow of things to come. Additionally, we must continue to set an example; nothing has changed in this regard. Shake off the corporate doldrums of illusory, cheap, plastic, cookie-cutter materialism and create the unique world you really want to live in. Take the high ground in your own existence and fight to keep it.
Obviously, when Supreme Court nominees can't get a hearing, the people who think Obama is responsible for the poor gov't response to Hurricane Katrina, and going to invade Texas are in control of the government, a failed billionaire, draft-dodging, con-artist reality TV star is your President, and scientists are copying their data worldwide for safekeeping, somebody dropped the f*#king ball!!! I don't need to go into an academic lecture about the nature of post-democratic societies, or delve into the idiosyncrasies of crisis cults. Trump's cabinet picks should be enough to send shock waves of serious concern through the mind of any semi-aware citizen of a civilized nation. I'll just say that the line must be drawn here. In the name of free speech and tolerance, we've allowed the intolerant enemies of free speech, and their acolytes to seize power. They must ALWAYS meet a wall of resistance.
That means you will have to be brave, stubborn, and sacrifice; we all will. It is utterly necessary to resist the normalization efforts currently underway, regardless of the cost. We have some cultural heroes to follow already.
In my post entitled,
Resistance Is Not Futile, I added my voice to a call for writers, artists, and performers to step-up and assume their responsibility as agents of social transformation. I'm proud as hell to say that everyone from late-night comedy hosts to aging rockers have answered that call. As
Cory Panshin so astutely observes:
"...a surprising number of creative people who should have known better felt an affinity with fascism. That was one reason why the fascists and Nazis were given a pass until it was too late. But that simply isn't true now. Trump's problem getting performers for his inaugural is just one very visible aspect of it. Writers, artists, musicians, comic book creators, filmmakers, and creative people in general just aren't biting on what the alt-right, the religious right, or ordinary dumbass conservatism are selling, and most of them are committed to themes of tolerance, multiculturalism, and sex and gender equality. Moreover, these things are at the very heart of popular culture -- which again is in contrast with the 1920s, when modern art and jazz were widely seen as strange and dangerous."
Fans or otherwise, it's important to acknowledge that these people are putting their livelihoods and fortunes on the line for all of us. It is incumbent upon us all to not allow their efforts to die like fruit unpicked on the vine. We must support them immediately; surely you can feel that we have the cultural momentum?! Time to push back hard against things like "
any attempt to revive the torture porn of TV shows of a decade ago or the glorification of the Great War on Terror."
They've set the example, paved the road, shown us a path. The cool kids aren't coming to the party, and sooner or later, no one else will want to go either. Friends, high school has been over for a long time. We are the cool kids now, and you all damn well know it. To quote
Cory Panshin once again,
"Basically, I think I'm saying that the culture wars are over -- and we won them."
Non-participation and social marginalization like this, is a huge thing when it comes to social resistance; think taking a knee during the anthem. Don't just sit back and wait and see what happens to these celebrities. Let's all make a point of not participating in the world they are trying to build, and let's keep right on building the one we know is coming eventually anyway. If we stop showing up for "the party"....... You don't have to be mean, but nobody can force you to be a "joiner."
A lot of Trump voters are the type that will do anything to get the attention of the cool kids. That's what some of the election of Trump was about in the first place, believe me. When they see that they ACTUALLY really did alienate us all, that we aren't coming to their dumb old party, that we are still crafting our reality diligently, that they didn't ruin our lives after all, that we are just great without them...they just might come around. When they start asking you, "How's it been going?" That's when you'll have the perfect opportunity to not only catch them up on your exciting adventures, but
"craft messages of inclusivity and environmental protection that will draw strong moral lines and prod the culture even further in the direction of those values."
So, that's about it for now I suppose. We can always build on this post in the future. Once again, it is my sincere hope that you follow the links in the post, and honestly evaluate and consider the suggestions offered there. I also hope that you've taken away something useful from this, even if it's just a little peace of mind, or a laugh. I know it was long...thanks for staying with me. Lots of love,
RM